Tranquility

I have about two drafts saved here at this journal always talking about my relationship. I always seemed to have some reason to just complain how everything is going. However, each time I think about the relationship, something always changes my mind and makes me realize why I love him so much.

Tonight was no exception. These past few days, especially yesterday, haven’t been the best for us. I broke down into tears afraid that he was going break up with. It was what he said that made me realize that I wasn’t going to lose him. It might sound crazy to some people, but for us, it seems different. We would go crazy if we would to ever separate. I don’t know if I would be happy again if I ever had to say goodbye to him. He is my world at the moment.

At first when I started dating him, I was always curious why I was so attracted to him. Was it because he had a motorcycle or drove a fancy car? At first, I thought I was just trying to raise my status. However, that has changed. I love him for his personality, his kindness when he worries about me or even cares so deeply. There are so many reasons why I love him. We might not have many things in common, but it doesn’t matter. We do so many things with each other that interests don’t matter.

I want to talk about something different such as how my summer has been going or what I am wanting to change. However, at the moment, I just want to talk about him. I said what I wanted to say. He makes me happy. I can picture him in my life. I don’t want to lose him. I love him quite a bit more than anyone besides my family. He means the world to me.

My next entry will be an update, but for now, that is where I am going to leave it. I am happy, content, and completely at peace. For now, everything is going great for me.

There are times you wonder how the future is exactly going to cause things to change for you. I keep wondering about it in events when I think about school, work, and of course my relationship that I am currently in.

Speaking of the relationship, there is much happening that I still trying to adjust too. I thought for sure I would be alright since I have dated in the past. However, when I started to date Aaron, something just seemed different. I have to say, though, that I do miss my own time. True, when you find that person that you care deeply about, you always want to spend time with that person. However, there are times that I just need time for myself. I think it is due to the fact that I haven’t had time to get anything done online. However, I wouldn’t change it. I love him. He is a great guy to be around. Sometimes, he does annoy me, but what guy doesn’t annoy his girlfriend? I think I just need to adjust to how everything is changing and that includes having him in my life now.

Another change is that he brought up the idea for me to do Web Designing as my career instead of my English. He believes that my designs are pretty amazing and that I would go far with my designs if I would offer to do them for companies and such. I told him that I would think about the idea, but I just don’t know how much that would benefit towards me. I am not the best coder, and I still have a lot to learn with CSS, PHP, and of course, HTML. I will keep it in mind, though. I have already been offered to design a company’s layout which will keep me busy over the summer.

Anyways, I still have quite a bit to adjust to. The future keeps changing for me. I am seeing everything different than I am actually quite used to. I have someone who cares about me. I might be getting a different job. There is just a lot happening. I just hope it is all for the best.

There has been a few things changing around in my life, and I do believe some will be for the best. I know in my last past posts, I have been talking about some regarding to a certain guy that I thought things were going to change with. However, that proved to be wrong, and there has been other changes that are making me realize that what I want isn’t with that person but another personal altogether.

I know Aaron and I had a rough start, especially with not having strong relationships that made us either hate each other or just not want to talk with each other. However, it has been two weeks since I’ve started to see Aaron. It has been two weeks since he brought that conversation up of wanting to start over, on how he was planning to change a few things. With these two weeks, everything has been going smooth. True, there are a few things that I wish would happen. However, like everyone has said before, time has a way of making things happen. All you have to do is just wait it out and the rewards are going to be there.

I have started to notice one thing, though, with my relationship. I am starting to like Aaron more. I thought it would be hard to move on, especially everything that had happen recently. However, that proved to be wrong. I am wanting to spend more time with him than do my normal things that I used to do. I don’t want to go up to the bowling alley. I don’t want to see what the boys are doing. I just want to get my homework done and hopefully see him before I head to bed.

He kept telling me that summer will be better for us, that he wants me to wait till everything is calmed down. I don’t know why he has to ask me that. I am willing to wait for he is worth it at the moment. He cares about me, and I care about him. I think that proves enough on how much I will wait. As long as this is not an empty promise, I will be happy and content.